Are the Great Plains really that great?

Alright so its been a while since I have updated this and I apologizes. I have been traveling the vast northern/Midwest part of the country for the last few months with little to no time to actually get on a computer to do anything other then work. Here I find myself on the road once again but this time as a passenger in the part of the country we call the Great Plains.

Why the hell do we call them the Great Plains, there really isn't a ton of shit up here to do. What makes them so great? Is it the worlds tallest Indian in Michigan? I was excited to see this monster until I was sadly disappointed. At first I saw the sign and the closer I got the more excited I had gotten, here comes the exit and without even making a decision if I was going to check this guy out I found myself clicking the knob for the blinker. Hand of hand I mad the corner and then found it was still 8 miles away, thats ok I thought this is something I can talk about for years. I started having thoughts in my head like why had I not seen or herd of this Indian before, is this a well kept Michigan secret? Ok, so 2 more blocks to go, I am assuming he will be in building of some sort as it was a brisk morning. The sign said one final left and here he was at the top of a tall hill............ this fucking Indian was nothing more then an elementary project gone bad. It was a tallish statue like thing made out of what I would assume was twigs and mortar standing on the top of a hill. What the fuck did I get off the highway for, this art atrocity just sucked valuable time out of my life. I could have been to the hotel with a beer in my hand by now and here I am looking at a paper mesa man.

So back on the road I went, disappointed and thirsty. Next stop was the Great Hideaway in Northern Wisconsin. This was honestly one of the coolest fucking things I saw on the whole work travels. I am not going to lie this was not the first time that I had been there but it was the first time I was old enough to either talk about or remember what I saw. For any of you who don't know who Al Capone (simply implying that you have lived in a cave your whole life, I would just nod my head and go along pretending you know who the most notorious mob boss in US history is) you people may not understand. Al created this kick ass house in Wisconsin for 2 reasons, first was not to get away from the city life and hang with his pals in seclusion, in my opinion that was second. First was to fly in booze from Canada where they landed on a private lake on the grounds with planes on an almost daily bases. Shit if I has a private lake back then I would have done the same thing, the only difference was that Al had armed guards with tommy guns lining the property. Secret entrances and private get aways kept the fuzz off The Boss. This is the only place I would suggest you go out of all the places I stopped and if you get thirsty while you are there, hit up the Saloon. Gotta love a place where you can drink and look at cool shit.

So lets see what was next on my jereny through the vast plains. Oh yes it was Paul Bonion and the Great Blue Ox in Northern Minnesota. Now if I remember the story correctly Paul and his trusty ox created the great plains and the lakes were all created by his footprints (correct me if I am wrong, I lost interest when I found out this story was a fairytale and my tour guide wasn't the least bit attractive so she lost my interest as well). The story goes that Paul did all this shit including... wait I forgot to tell you this part, wait for it........(I know the suspense is killing me too)........keep waiting........cut down all the trees cause apparently this over abundant ogre of a man had nothing better to do so he picked up a job as a lumber jack. Why the fuck would a beast of a man pick of a job as a lumber jack, it makes not sense. Him and the tallest Indian could have gotten in a fight, this I would have liked to see. The tallest Indian swinging his long feather filled main around as he hurled a tomahawk had a man the size of a 747 wheeling an ax. I would give this one to Paul mainly because if hes stuck against the ropes he can tag Babe in to finish the fool off. Good news tree hugers, Paul B was the reason for change in landscape not the Ice Age so start throwing your beer cans back in the river, Global warming isn't shit and Paul is dead.

Made a few more stops in North Dakota and South Dakota, non worth boring you with. Oh shit can't forget about Iowa, they don't just have corn anymore now they have corn and windmills lol, 2 attractions is a lot for a place like that.

So back to my original question, what makes the Great Plains so great. There isn't anything more great about them then say California, should we call it the Great West or the Great East. The plains are a vast combination of driving on shitty roads, snow storms, floods, tornado's, heat storms, humidity, freezing cold days with blistery hot nights, bridges to nowhere (Lincoln Nebraska, had like a 10 mile bridge over land, what a fucking waste of tax payer money) and lots of corn fields lol. All and all the people were nice, every non-chain restaurant was like eating at grandmas house, the bars were cheep, the women looked good (ok so some of them, not that many, go to Grand Forks, ND. There is a hot chic behind every tree) and the weather was never the same 2 days in a row.

Ok fuck it, they earned the Great part of their name, but I'm still pissed about the fucking Tallest Indian.

More to come

Enough with the email requests, I have moved like 4 times in the last few months. I have a couple of posts that will be updated very soon, just one more move to do and they will be on here.....promise.


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